JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #173

DREW:

This is a historic issue of JLA. Why? Because it's the first and last time that the term "Jive Bunch of Turkeys" appeared on the cover of an issue. But don't worry kids, this scene didn't even take place in the issue. The JLA would never let ANY Jive Turkeys join.

SUPERMAN #249

DREW:

When written with some imagination, Superman is a total hardcore bad-a$$. In this issue, Terra-Man shoots six ATOMIC bullets at Superman. He let's five of them impact, but catches the sixth one with his teeth. Then he pretends to be beaten and when Terra-Man doesn't expect it, he SPITS the bullet out with such accuracy that it travels back up the barrel of Terra-Man's gun and destroys it.

How BAD is that? I'll tell you how bad that is. That's badder than the jacket that Steven Seagal wore in MARKED FOR DEATH. And that jacket was all black with two golden dragons on the front and a big golden tiger on the back. Plus, Steven Seagal was wearing it, which made it a BAD OUT-FIT indeed!

Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen #141

DREW:

You might look at this cover and think: "WHAT?!" or "This looks lame!"

Well, guess what? If you did, then you have thought wrong, because this issue is totally sweet! And you don't just get a guest appearance by Don Rickles, you also get a character named Goody Rickles who just happens to be Don's exact twin, and he likes to dress up like a superhero for no apparent reason.

This issue is also cool because of the blurb at the top of the cover. Remember kids, heed the immortal worlds of KIRBY: "Don't ask! Just buy it!"

House of Mystery #118

DREW:

Holy crap, this book is cool! Why? Two words: Super-Gorillas. In the Silver Age, DC books with apes, gorillas, or monkeys on the cover always sold, so they cranked out a ton of stories featuring simians.

What is the Secret of the Super-Gorillas? I won't say, but I'll tell you this much: two young scientist dudes use a ray gun they built to make some little monkeys smart and then the little monkeys turn into SUPER-GORILLAS and they treat the humans like pets and then the SUPER GORILLAS have to fight ALIENS.

Let me repeat that last part: SUPER-GORILLAS VS. ALIENS! That is all you need to know.

Robert Vaughn is AWESOME.

DREW:
Why is he awesome? Here are a few reasons:

1. He helped Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, James Coburn, and Charles Bronson defeat Eli Wallach in The Magnificent Seven.

2. His character's name on The Man From U.N.C.L.E. was Napoleon Solo, one of the best spy names ever.

3. He helped John Boy from The Waltons defeat aliens in Battle Beyond The Stars.

4. He got Richard Pryor to build a super computer that challenged Superman.

5. In the final season of The A-team, he was their BOSS.

6. He doesn't seem to age, so he's like a kick-@ss version of Dick Clark.

On top of all that, check out his gun. If you're hip to Transformers, you'll recognize that he's carrying a customized Walther P38, which is what Megatron's Generation One disguise was based on. How cool is that?

Heck, that probably is Megatron. Robert Vaughn was so tough that he defeated the Decepticons and turned Megatron into his personal weapon. That's right, Robert Vaughn is Megatron's Master.

So technically, Robert Vaughn > Optimus Prime.

Thor #155

DREW:

Okay, this may not be the greatest art ever for a Thor cover, but it definitely has the best caption: NOW ENDS - THE UNIVERSE! I mean, how could you not want to read that? They might as well have written on the cover: NOW OPENS - YOUR WALLET! Or NOW SPENDS - YOUR MONEY! Done.

Detective Comics #306
DREW:
What's worse than a big-headed criminal with robot minions? A big-headed criminal with INVISIBLE robot minions!

BRENT:
It's the new excuse that's taking the world by storm!! "I can't clean up my room, Mom! I'm being held by an invisible robot!!"

DREW:

If we could blame everything on invisible robots, the world would be a simpler place.

Konga #20

DREW:
I've never read a full issue of Konga, but I've looked through several and they seem pretty cool. Basically, each issue is about humans attacking Konga with bombs (even ATOMIC ones) and Konga going on a rampage against them. He also spends a lot of time crying because humans pick on him, and there is nothing sadder than a giant crying monster ape. When will man learn to leave giant apes alone?

BRENT:
Oh yeah, this is that issue where Konga dreams about how his right hand turned into the head of a blonde lady. Classic Konga!

Kull The Conqueror #2

DREW:

I got the idea for the blog's title from a Kull story. Robert E. Howard wrote a kick-butt Kull story called By This Axe I Rule. It didn't sell, so he re-wrote it into a Conan story called The Phoenix On The Sword (which also kicked butt).

Kull is a fantastic character. He's a thinker and a warrior, and there are philosophical and metaphysical aspects to some of his adventures.

If Kull had really existed, his modern day descendant would be WWE Superstar Triple H. Why? Because Triple H is the King of Kings, the Cerebral Assassin, and he rules by a sledge hammer.

Justice League of America #29

DREW:

I grew up reading my dad's Silver Age collection, and this book was among them. It's one of my favorites. This introduced the alternate world known as Earth-3, where every superbeing was a criminal and history was a warped reflection of real events: Columbus was an American who discovered Europe, England won its independence from the United States in 1776, Abe Lincoln was an actor who shot President John Wiles Booth, and so on. Instead of a Justice League of America, this world has the Crime Syndicate of America. The CSA comes to our world (Earth-1), beats up the JLA, and then it's up to the Justice Society of America (from Earth -2, of course) to save the day.

Dudes, DC Silver Age stories don't get ANY better than this.

Justice League of America #18

DREW:

In this issue: the Justice League vs The Atom's Legs! Fantastic.

BRENT:
Unbelievable. Two striking things on this cover for me. First, the Martian Manhunter (rest in peace, buddy!) didn't think to just fly up into Ray's face and wave and yell. Instead, he thought "I'll just pull on his pants leg." The other thing is that Ollie can't be bothered taking all the time to get the Atom's attention without hurting him, and instead offers an exploding arrow to his left shin bone! (Yes, I know that's probably just a fireworks arrow or something and it's not actually HITTING Ray, but it looks like a violent explosion to the leg to me!)

Journey Into Mystery #108
DREW:
Why is this cover awesome? Because Marvel felt the need to point out that Thor is "POSSIBLY THE HANDSOMEST, MOST NOBLE SUPER-HERO OF ALL TIME!" So take that, all other superheroes!

Also, Dr. Strange isn't the Master of the Mystic Arts, he's the MASTER OF BLACK MAGIC. That rocks.

BRENT:
Do you imagine they (being Marvel) ever made a comic called "Everyone Else," and on the cover it just said "don't look, we're hideous!"

Besides that, now I just imagine Dr. Strange doing really evil magic (like sacrificing Wong to Dormammu) and listening to really fast death metal.

DREW:
"Everyone Else" was the original title for X-men, but it wasn't catchy enough. Plus, the early mutants weren't all that ugly. Can you really imagine that Jean Grey had a rough time growing up? She's a smokin' hot redhead! If she accidently shot some mind bullets at me, I would forgive her.

Dr. Strange comics read real good if you put on some Black Sabbath or Pink Floyd (he's even on the cover of an early Floyd album). By the Hoary Hosts of Hoggoth, Let Metal Reign!

Thor #154

DREW:
This issue of Thor is pretty sweet. He tells a bunch of hippies to quit bein' dirty hippies and act like men. How sweet is that?


BRENT:
You know, I never really read a lot of Thor comics growing up (yes, I know, I missed out), but that sounds like the funniest issue of Thor possible! What, no hippies in Asgard?

DREW:
Asgard is for HEROES! That means no hippies allowed.

Jimmy Olsen #118

DREW:
If DC & Marvel had done crossovers back in the day, perhaps Thor could have journeyed to Metropolis and put a stop to “Hippie Olsen's Hate-In!” That's right, just when you thought Jimmy Olsen's adventures couldn't get any weirder, he falls in with a bunch of evil Kryptonite using hippies, punches out Perry White, and turns against Superman! Sure, he turns against Superman in just about every issue, but this time it's worse because he's turned into a no-good hippie! In anyone ever deserved to be smote with Thor’s enchanted hammer, it’s Hippie Olsen.


BRENT:
Considering the comic is technically prefixed with "Superman's Pal," aren't we just confused at how Kal-el hasn't just punched Jimmy right in the face by now? When Jimmy's not hurling green K at Supes with a catapult, or collecting Kryptonian tears by making Clark cry during a movie (we assume that alien tears have the same properties as a gentleman named Chuck Norris), he's given Superman BRAIN SURGERY. That's one "pal" I think we could all do without.

DREW:
He’s still Superman’s Pal because (a) Jimmy’s actions are usually the result of some kind of crazy misunderstanding and (b) Superman is more understanding than us, so he always forgives him.

BRENT:
He truly is a super man.